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Gratitude Now - Rather Than When

11/30/2019

In the midst of chores can there be gratitude – or only when chores are done?

Just the other morning while hanging up my pants
there was full Gratitude as I watched my hand placing the pants on a hook.

There was nothing else in that moment but that.

Although there was a lot scheduled for that day
without projection of what still 'needs' to be done
there was no missing what is Now.

Gratitude now
as we take a step,
wash a dish,
chop the onions …
nothing else but this.

During this busy season,
may each of us know this Gratitude
more and more deeply
as we are fully present to and enjoy whatever we are now doing.

A Grateful Heart Sees Beauty and Feels Joy Now

Trying Hides The Noticing Of What Already Is

11/17/2019

When we have a sense of Presence –
our innate Wholeness of Being –
and then we feel it is gone
sometimes people say things like
“I have to try and be present” or
“My focus is on trying to be present”
yet they experience a lot of angst
in all of that trying – and ‘failing’.

So … I’d like to invite you into another way
of being with your experience
that has nothing to be with trying.

It is about noticing.

Rather than try and be present -
notice Presence now.

Rather than focus on trying to be present -
‘focus’ on noticing Presence now.

When we try to be present
we have forgotten we are Presence.

We feel that we are somehow defective
and we need to try to become
something other than we now are.

We believe there is an I that isn’t Presence
and that this I somehow needs to become Presence.
We have split our identity into two.

But when we are open to notice
what is already here and now
we are open to notice that
Presence is already the case –
and that that truth was only momentarily forgotten
the moment we thought Presence left.

Love Notices – Forgetfulness Tries

When All Strategies Exhaust Themselves What Is Here?

11/17/2019

I used to be very stressed out. I enjoyed making lists and checking things off –
the busier I was the better I felt. I had daily goals and long term goals and I thrived on getting things done. During this time I accomplished much and felt good about it all even though there was a lot of stress in the doing of it. My mind raced, my heart pounded and my body was often tense and for a time I thought that stress was a normal part of life.

When we forget our innate Wholeness we believe we either have to earn it, demand it or withdraw to find it. And even though most of us use all three of these strategies at different times we are often programmed to favor one.

For me it was largely about earning my way back to Wholeness. I felt there was something wrong and to make it right I needed to be the responsible one, the good one, the helpful one.

Believing we need to earn our way is a bit different than believing we need to demand or withdraw our way. Although all three strategies come from a sense of lack – a forgetfulness of Wholeness - in some ways the earning strategy can be more difficult to detect and see our way out of than the other two.

When we try to earn our way, our conditioned self image may come across as
kind, loving, funny, successful, competent, energetic, or spiritual. Although we continue to be confused and stressed out, the image we have of ourself may, at a certain level, seem positive to ourself and others. And sometimes the positive feedback we get from others keeps us stuck in this false self image for quite some time.

Honesty is what helps pave the way out.

When we are truthful with ourself and admit that we are using our humor, success, helpfulness, busyness, kindness or charm to try and get what we believe we do not yet have, we open to the possibility of sensing what is ‘beyond’ that false self image to what is always here now.

Opening to the truth of what is here is a letting go of what is false -
and initially there may be quite a bit of discomfort in the letting go.

It may feel like a kind of death as we allow the discomfort that may come when
responding from the heart rather than reacting from a sense of lack.

When we feel that something is lacking we use our humor, helpfulness, busyness to try and feel whole, to try and get others to like us or appreciate us in a certain way. And when we know Wholeness those strategies no longer make sense and gradually fall away.

As we stop reacting to the false sense of lack we may then not appear as helpful or loving or competent or busy as we used to which may upset some people and for a time be uncomfortable for us.

Allowing the discomfort that often comes as we let go of those strategies,
allows us to more fully sense our true Self and finally respond rather than react to Life.

Love is free of all strategy

The Wine Bottle and Love's Possibility

11/3/2019

Although the following true story (included with permission) about the conflict created by the placement of a wine bottle may seem extreme it is a good illustration of how conditioning often plays out in relationships - and how there is another way.

Sue was married to Joe and he never seemed to put the wine bottle in the place she wanted. Every evening he had a glass of wine and every evening he put the bottle back in the wrong spot according to Sue. She told him this upset her and that she wanted it put back where she showed him.

He, as usual, agreed that he would do as she wanted. But then a couple of nights later she watched from another room as he poured his wine and moved to put the bottle back in the spot she wanted but then he paused and put it in the place she didn't want. She was furious but didn't say a word.

Joe often withdraws rather than face conflict with Sue.
He complies even though he is seething within.
He isn't being honest with himself or Sue.

Sue demands.
She feels she is right and he is wrong and there is one way to do things.
But she also sometimes withdraws and seethes,
as she did when she didn't say anything about what she saw.

When we know the wholeness of Presence
the conditioned reactions of withdrawing and demanding
gradually fall away and more freedom to respond
in love and wisdom comes to the forefront.

Rather than withdraw we can respond with authenticity and set boundaries with those who try to place demands on us and rather than demand others do things as we think they should we can lovingly allow them their freedom –which occasionally may include voicing our preferences but always with an honesty that it is truly only a preference and not a demand.

But – this freedom to respond rather than react often comes to the forefront when we first go through the discomfort of not reacting.

Reacting to whatever is happening by withdrawing or demanding (or earning – more on this in the next post) at a certain level feels comfortable. Withdrawing or demanding feels familiar and not as risky as not withdrawing or demanding.

The unconditioned response that comes with being present often initially feels very, very risky. The discomfort when we pause rather than react may be quite intense for a time. But when we allow the discomfort fully without acting on it those conditioned patterns gradually lose their intensity and wise, loving responses come to the forefront.

For Joe to stand before Sue’s demands fully present and not withdraw he may feel a lot of discomfort within. His heart may pound, his breathing may become labored and he may feel sick to his stomach even as he just considers being honest and loving in communicating how he wants his freedom to be honored. But if he allows and moves through that discomfort as he senses his true Presence, a new way of being and expressing love will begin to reveal itself to him.

For Sue, in full presence, to observe Joe’s actions as he does things the way he does them and not to voice a demand may feel very uncomfortable for her. She may feel extremely agitated within, it may feel intolerable not to tell him what she wants him to do. But if she allows and moves through the discomfort and senses her true Presence, a new way of being and expressing love will begin to reveal itself to her.

Freedom in relationships is honored when we know and honor our own freedom.

Gratitude Now - Rather Than When

Trying Hides The Noticing Of What Already Is

When All Strategies Exhaust Themselves What Is Here?

The Wine Bottle and Love's Possibility

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